How does your garden grow

All of our seeds are sprouting!!! We have tiny little lettuce, some little onion sprouts and the cucumber is really growing. The watermelon plant is not looking great, but everything else is alive and growing.

Great wolf lodge

Oliver is one lucky boy! He got invited to go to the Great Wolf Lodge by his cousin, Olivia. Plus, he got to miss 2 days of school. I know he had the time of his life. He was big enough this year to ride all the rides. He also got to eat at the Rainforest Cafe. He had so much fun celebrating Olivia's birthday!

Mothers day

I am blessed!

How He Loves Us

Honestly, the wait has been hard lately. It just has. It is just part of the journey. God is molding, shaping and pruning me. It can be painful at times. As believers, we are not promised an easier life. But, we are promised his grace, mercy and comfort during these times.

On Thursday, my birthday, I went running early in the morning. I always go the same way. But, this time, I turned the corner and smelled the sweetest smell and then I saw this huge field of wildflowers. I had just run this route two days before and these flowers were not there. I know it sounds crazy, but they were there for me. On my birthday. I needed this. It was a reminder that I have not been forgotten and that he loves me.

LOL!

25 months and BIG WHINY BABY!!

You know what it feels like to be at the very end of your pregnancy?  You have waited for this baby for 9 months.  You bought new clothes for your growing body, you bought new clothes for the new baby, you prepare a room, you have showers. There is so much excitement and anticipation. But then, 36 weeks arrives and it becomes the worst 4 weeks of your life.  There is no sleep, food goes down but it burns coming back up.  Tums become your BFF.  No clothes fit, your back aches and you are just so ready to meet your baby.  You don't care how they have to come out.  The best thing about this is that it is for certain the last four weeks.  There is an end in sight.  You have a due date.

Adoption, not so much.  No due date.  The excitement and the anticipation is there and then the end of the wait comes, but there is no end in sight.  Do you prepare a room now?  Is it too soon?  Should I make summer plans?  Do we sign up for the adoption conference?  Oh, it is sooo hard.  It is so hard to be patient.  It is so hard to trust in the when.  It drains me some days, some weeks. I have just become tired, and weary (just like you do at the end of a pregnancy).  People ask all the time "When is she coming home?"  I love when people ask me about her because it means they are thinking about her, but I have no clue!!!  

We have been waiting for 25 months.  The average time seems to be around 26-27 months right now, but we just don't know.  I should've entitled last week "The week I acted like a BIG WHINY BABY"!  Such lack of faith, so many tears.  I truly acted like a toddler.  But, the funny thing (or not) is that my BSF lecturer started off this weeks lesson saying "God's timing is perfect...."  And the notes started out "Do you ever think that God has forgotten you?"  HA!  How did they know I needed to hear this.  God knew.  He knew exactly what I needed to hear.  I love how he stands beside me no matter how I am acting.  We have been studying Joseph in BSF and it has been the perfect time for me to be in this study.  I want to be like Joseph.  He was sold into slavery by his brothers, he was wrongly accused of rape by his employer's wife, he was thrown into prison, he was forgotten by the cupbearer.  But, God was preparing him all along.  Joseph did not become bitter.  He knew God was with him and blessing him all along the journey.  God delivered him and gave him everything he needed during the wait.  He was preparing him for his future. God never forgot him.  

 He has not forgotten me.  He has not forgotten our daughter. I am praying that I will just LET GO! When she comes home, it will be God's perfect timing.

Now, off to get my fingerprints redone.  Third times a charm, right??

Our little Garden

My Paw Paw was an AMAZING gardener.  Besides his incredible faith in the Lord, this was what he was known for.  I did not inherit his green thumb nor did I marry a man with a green thumb.  It is just not one of our gifts.  But, Joel has been wanting to have a garden for many years and I have it on my 40 before 40 list.  I haven't marked a ton off that list and since I will be 36 in a week, I only have 4 years to go!!!  So, Joel built the bed out of some wood we have had in our garage for years and each one of the boys picked out something they wanted to plant.  Clayton picked a Jalapeno plant.  Oliver picked watermelon.  Elliot picked strawberries.  Joel picked onions and cucumbers and I picked a peppermint plant and lettuce.  We have got a lot going on in our garden.  Now if we could just have something survive!  My Paw Paw used to say a prayer over every single plant.  He said that is why they grew so well.  So, I think we need to pray over these plants daily because we have no idea what we are doing otherwise!!  Elliot seems to think we will have strawberries overnight.  It will be fun watching each one of them take care of their plant. 

 I finally put some flowers in my planter that I got in Round Top last year!

 I planted these last year and they died right away.  But then, this year, they came back and like crazy!!!  I love the pop of yellow in my flower bed.  It makes me really happy!!!

Grow, Little Garden, Grow!!!

He's in the small stuff too!

The beginning of the adoption process is called the paperchase. You spend months and months and months gathering all kinds of paperwork. A new marriage license, brand new birth certificates, fingerprints, criminal background checks, a physical with labwork, Fire inspection of home, home study, etc. etc. Everything must be notarized and approved. And then you are through. The paperchase is over. Whew! WRONG!!!! All of the paperwork starts to expire. Our home study was updated last year and will be updated again in the next few months. Our fingerprints will be redone for the 3rd time next week. Our physicals have to be redone...you get the picture. It just overwhelms me a bit. Or maybe A LOT!!! During the beginning round of paper chasing, Joel thought I had lost my marbles. But, this time my well check-up worked out to be around the same time as my document needed to be updated. Yippee!!! Sadly, I got a phone call today that my paperwork was complete but they don't have a notary. Ugh! I just wanted this to be easy. After I got off the phone, I prayed,"Lord, please make this easy. I am weary.". I got home and looked up notaries. They have a mobile notary service that charges $45 to meet you and notarize. Well, guess I will be calling tomorrow. But, at our connect group tonight I was talking about the paperwork and what I needed to get done and both of the women I was talking to said," I'm a notary". Seriously? Praise the Lord!!!! He hears me and listens to me even in the small stuff!!!! He reminded me today that he has not forgotten me!

He Will NOT Delay

God speaks to me so much through music.  I cry out to him through worship.  I have been singing this song all week in preparing for leading worship on Sunday. These are the exact words I have needed to hear this week.

Always by Passion Band

My foes are many
They rise against me
but I will hold my ground.
I will not fear the war.
I will not fear the storm.
My help is on the way
My help is on the way.

Oh, my God
He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through Always
Always.

Trouble surround me
Chaos abounding
My soul will rest in you.
I will not fear the war.
I will not fear the storm.
My help is on the way
My help is on the way.

I lift my eyes up.
My help comes from the Lord.

Lately, I feel like He is delayed (yesterday...many tears).  That He has forgotten me.  That is timing is so far off from my timing.  This morning, I read this verse.

Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

I remember back to the day that we found out Elliot was a boy.  A perfect baby boy growing inside of me.  But, I thought God had forgotten me.  That He had not listened to my cries out for a daughter.  I didn't understand.  I had prayed and prayed for a girl.  I had a name already picked out for her.  I had planned everything out.  I knew for sure that a baby girl was growing inside of me.  A girl that I would name Annie.  I hate thinking of this time now and I hate even admitting that these were my feelings, but it was real.  I felt so guilty.  I was grieving so much even though there was a tiny blessing growing inside of me.  Little did I know that it was the beginning of breaking my heart and opening my eyes to something so much bigger.  His plans for adoption.  My mother-in-law sent me this verse on that day.  I remember crying over it, but finding hope in it.  I had to read it daily.  It kept my eyes on Him and it brought me to this point where I am now.    Waiting for our daughter while loving on my precious son, Elliot.  He redeemed my brokenness. He knew on that day that not only was he going to bless me with an amazing son, but that he was already planning to bless me with a daughter.  

I don't understand the why.  I don't know the when or the how.  But, I know that His purpose will prevail.  His timing will be perfect.  He will not delay.  My God will come through ALWAYS.  I just need to keep my trust and hope in Him.  Easy enough, right?  I make it much harder than it needs to be.  I know that one day, I will look back on this time and say "YES, God knew exactly what He was doing!"

Let's Go Fly a Kite