"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

SAHM

(stay at home mom)
Something that I have LOVED being for the past fourteen weeks. It is who I am and who I want to be. I love every moment with my children and husband, even the stressful and trying times (like tonight). I love the daily routine we have. I love picking Clayton up from the bus every afternoon. I love listening to the boys play. I love the sweet sounds of a squealing baby. I love having dinner ready for my husband when he comes home from work. I love, love, love this job. But, tomorrow, I go back to work. I am sad. The tears are already flowing. It pains me. I don't want to leave my baby. I don't want to miss a day of seeing Clayton as he walks off of that bus. I don't want to miss a day tickling and laughing with my silly Oliver. I hate to miss one single day, one single moment.

But, alas, the kids clothes are ready for tomorrow, diapers are stacked, bottles are filled. My new lunch box is filled, my new navy scrubs are ready to go, my pumping stuff is packed, pens and calculator ready to go. I am nervous. Will I remember how to even write my name, work a ventilator, change the diaper of a one pound baby, suction an et tube, start an iv??

Although it is going to be hard as I walk out the door tomorrow, I have to remember that I am so blessed. I work with incredible people that I call my friends. I only have to be gone for two days. Those two days are long and stressful(I am gone from home for about 14 hours/day), but it is just two days. My job allows me to pump whenever I need and since I work in the NICU, hospital grade pumps are readily available (huge plus). And, the kids get to spend time with their Daddy. What a blessing!!
The hardest part is that my kids are in asleep when I leave in the morning and asleep when I get home. I miss them.

One day, I will reach my goal of being a full-time SAHM, but until then, I will count my blessings and enjoy every moment I have at home with them and be thankful for the incredible, rewarding job that I enjoy (as far as I can remember...14 weeks is a long time away).

It will be a hard first day, but I will be okay!

1 comment:

The Morgan Family said...

You made me cry. Such sweet words come from our heart! Your work will be an adjustment for everyone in the family. But those two days they will have with their daddy is also priceless! You are very blessed and I am continuing to pray for you and your family that this transition will be so so smooth!