"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Moments of Anxiety

The past couple of weeks, I have had moments of anxiety surrounding our adoption.  We have not moved one space on the waiting list which means there have been no baby girl referrals since we have been DTE.  Thankfully these moments have been just moments....fleeting moments.  I just breathe deep, pray, and listen for God's voice.  We are a part of a yahoo group for people that are adopting through AWAA and from Ethiopia.  We are all in the waiting process, whether it be in the paperchasing process, waiting for referral process, waiting for court date, or embassy.  Most of the time the information is so helpful, and some of the information is too much and makes me anxious and forgetful that God has a plan.  This past week, someone posted something that really helped me and I hope she doesn't mind that I am posting this here.  Hopefully it will help someone else on an adoption journey or any other journey in life.  It really spoke to me.

**A.W. Tozer said, "most people gaze at circumstances and glance at God.  We need to gaze at God and glance at circumstances."  When we are gazing at God the view is GREAT and the peace is amazing.  God has put adoption on each of our hearts for a reason.  He may work out the circumstances in a totally different way than we thought but He's still moving and working out His plan for us.  God's plan is like a current.  We can exhaust ourselves swimming trying to get where we feel we should be in the quickest way possible.  Or we can swim with the current headed to the place He is bringing us.  And the best part?  When you're going with the current sometimes you can just flip over and float along while the current does the work for         

I love that!  So, I am trying to set some goals this year to take my mind off the wait.  I am not meaning that I will not be in prayer for the wait and for our daughter, just keeping my mind on the here and now and letting God take me to the place He is leading me day-by-day.  

#1.  I am training for the White Rock Half Marathon.  I cannot believe I am saying this!!!  I have never been a runner.  Currently I am doing the couch to 10k program and then will start the actual marathon training in September.  My SIL and my friend Lisa both talked me in to this.  

#2.  Both me and Joel are coming up with a list of goals (short and long term goals) for the next 6 years.  40 goals before we turn 40.  A friend of mine did this and I have been wanting to do it too.  Setting our goals will help us actually reach the things we want to do.  some of them may be small goals and some a little bigger.  So far I have only come up with six things.  Guess I better get to work.

#3.  Soaking up the time I have with my kids this summer.  Enjoying every moment God has given me with these boys.  I am so thankful for them!  I am reading a book called Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas and the current chapter I am reading is about leaving a legacy.  How 80% of the things we focus our time and energy on will be gone and fade away as soon as we die....what house we live in, how thin we are, what clothes I wear, where I work, how much money we make, how clean my house is or not clean.  The other 20% is the time I spend focused on my family and my children.  It should be flip-flopped.  I should spend 80% of my time and energy on my children and leaving a legacy that will last for generations to come.

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