Sunday, November 13, 2011
God has led us to increase our age request to 24 months. He put this on my heart and it was not something that I wanted to do. I fought it, cried over it, and prayed about it for weeks. This is not what I had in mind. I pictured a tiny little baby in my arms. I pictured it being easy for her to attach to me because she would not know any better. But a toddler? Right on the brink of the terrible twos, taken away from her country and everything she has ever known, flown across the world to live in a really loud home with three crazy brothers. I am afraid I won't know what to do. I am afraid she won't like me. What if I can't bond with her? I am afraid. But, the Holy Spirit continued to work in me and this was not something I could let go of. I was confident that this was what God wanted us to do, but it was so hard for me to let go of all the questions and fears. But, I also couldn't let go of the fact that 8 out of 10 people that are adopting from our agency are requesting infants. That list is LONG!! So, what happens when they are over that stage? Would I completely miss out on the blessing that God has for me since I was being selfish and continuing to pursue what I want? Yes, I would! I continued to pray for peace over this decision, but I never felt it. Last week, I finally decided to give up the fight and surrender to what He was calling us to do. I was confident, but not at peace. As soon as I changed our request, I felt at complete peace. He gave me that peace and comfort as soon as I decided to walk in obedience. I am so excited where he has led me and I cannot wait to see what he has in store for us!!
Posted by Erica at 10:11 AM