"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Changes

God has led us to increase our age request to 24 months.  He put this on my heart and it was not something that I wanted to do.  I fought it, cried over it, and prayed about it for weeks.  This is not what I had in mind.  I pictured a tiny little baby in my arms.  I pictured it being easy for her to attach to me because she would not know any better. But a toddler?  Right on the brink of the terrible twos, taken away from her country and everything she has ever known, flown across the world to live in a really loud home with three crazy brothers.  I am afraid I won't know what to do.  I am afraid she won't like me.  What if I can't bond with her?  I am afraid. But, the Holy Spirit continued to work in me and this was not something I could let go of.  I was confident that this was what God wanted us to do, but it was so hard for me to let go of all the questions and fears.  But, I also couldn't let go of the fact that 8 out of 10 people that are adopting from our agency are requesting infants. That list is LONG!!   So, what happens when they are over that stage?  Would I completely miss out on the blessing that God has for me since I was being selfish and continuing to pursue what I want?  Yes, I would!    I continued to pray for peace over this decision, but I never felt it.  Last week, I finally decided to give up the fight and surrender to what He was calling us to do.   I was confident, but not at peace.  As soon as I changed our request, I felt at complete peace.  He gave me that peace and comfort as soon as I decided to walk in obedience.   I am so excited where he has led me and I cannot wait to see what he has in store for us!!  


3 comments:

Sandi said...

Exciting! I have lots of toddler girl clothes for you!!! Does this mean the wait is shorter? xo

Chase and Laura Bowers said...

Love this post. It is scary. So scary. We are doing homestudy now...requesting girl 0-3yrs old. I have all the same fears, but our God is bigger!

Rachel H said...

I can't wait to love on Annie, no matter her size or age! You are so honoring to God in your following of Him. I can only imagine the concerns and fears that can drag you down if you dwell on them. He has wonderful things in store for you and Annie! Praying all the time!