blessed?...overwhelmed?....Not sure what the best title is. I missed the 30 days of thankfulness that many people did on facebook and I really missed being thankful on Thanksgiving because I was kind of bitter that I had to work ALL day. Although, I was thankful for a fun day spent with my co-worker, Lindsey and we sang Christmas music all day (of course, while we were loving and feeding and taking care of the tiny babies)!!! But, I am so so so so very thankful.
I have been on the verge of tears for the past week. Not sad tears. Joyful, happy tears. I am just completely overwhelmed with God. I am not sure if it is the excitement of the Christmas season and how completely amazing and incredible it is that God sent hope to the world in the form of a tiny baby. If I just sit and think about that for just a moment, tears flood my eyes. I LOVE seeing the looks on my kids faces when we get out all the decorations and prepare our home to celebrate Jesus's birthday. I Love how Elliot plays with the manger scene and points to baby Jesus and the butterfly (Angel) that sits on top. So precious. I am so overwhelmed that God has blessed me with this family and these three boys.
Or, is it the hope for 2012 that we will be holding Annie in our arms forever and she will have a family forever?? This excites me and brings me so much joy. I am so thankful that he opened our hearts and eyes to adoption. I cannot imagine our lives right now without the excitement and anticipation for this baby girl.
Or, is it the excitement that I get to go to Ethiopia in June!!!!!!!!! 6 more months. I cannot believe that in just a months time, I have changed from completely terrified and making up excuses for why I can't go to completely excited and thankful that I have been given this amazing opportunity and CAN. NOT wait to go!!
Or, is it the blessings that I have all around me? My family that supports me and loves me through all times, and that love and care about Annie. My friends who are an amazing support. My co-workers (who are also my friends) who talk about Annie with me. Or the co-worker who felt the Holy Spirit leading her to help support my mission trip. Or my BOSS who takes the time out to ask about Annie and looks forward to her arrival. I am so completely blessed and completely overwhelmed.
Or, is it because I am so completely thankful where this journey has taken me this year? I have always wanted to completely trust God in everything I had. I could never really let go and really trust. I always have held on to things so tightly afraid of what might happen. This year, I have held on to my faith and my Savior more than I have in my entire life and it is so comforting. I am so thankful where He is taking me and leading me. I am so thankful for His guidance and hope for our future.
This morning in BSF, we talked about this verse:
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
It hit me. The tears came. That is why I am thankful. That is why I am overwhelmed. I serve an amazing and powerful God that sits on a throne of GRACE and I can come to Him and he is my help and my comfort. I don't have to do anything, just believe and I can just sit at His throne. His love for me is so much more than I can comprehend. This past year has been hard, but full of so many blessings and I am so thankful, blessed and overwhelmed by his grace. I am full of Joy and Hope!