Today we have been waiting one year! 12 months, 366 days (leapyear). It is a bittersweet day. I would prefer the word 'sadsweet' because I am not really bitter, but that is not a word, so we will go with bittersweet. Sweet because we have one year behind us. Sweet because there has been so much movement these past couple of months and we have moved on the 'list'. We were at a stand-still for so long. Sweet because we are almost in single digits for a toddler girl. I have hope. Sweet because I have never drawn so close to my savior as I have in this past year. I have clung to His word and His truth. He has carried me and provided me comfort. Sweet, sweet. Sweet because I believe He will do this and because I feel at such peace right now. I love these times when I am completely trusting Him. Of course, that is a choice I have to make daily or sometimes moment to moment.
Bitter (sad) because it has been a year and we have more waiting to do. More sadness, more pain. Bitter because I have never felt Satan's attacks than I have this past year. I have been tempted to believe his lies that our little girl will never come home. Sad because our wait times continually increase. Gradually over the past year it has gone from 7-11 months, 11-14 months, 14-18 months, and now 18-24 months. SAD. There are moments when I feel that I can't breath and moments when I just can't stop the tears.
There have been tears shed this morning. Partly sweet tears and partly sad tears. God has been molding me and changing me into the person he has made me to be. I love drawing close to Him and just sitting at His throne. I Love that He is in complete control. I love that through my sadness, Jesus understands and weeps with me.
Over the past months I have clung to this verse and it has brought me such peace. I fully believe this and I fully believe that it will be GREATER than I can ever have imagined.
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20 NIV
Also love the New Living Translation. I love 'Infinitely'!!!
"No all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."
We are going out tonight to celebrate this day and give Glory to God for calling us to adoption and carrying us along this journey.