"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

35

I have been dreading 35 since I turned 34.  I am not sure why,  I just have.  Just to preface this, I cried my eyes out when I turned 25.  Maybe I have issues with the mid-age range.  Also, if you are older than this, I know you are rolling your eyes and wishing you were 35, but this is my story.  Heading towards 35, I have discovered deeper wrinkles, a few grey hairs, and weight is not easy to get off.  I just don't like getting older.  Who does?  It is hard for me to close chapters in my life.  For instance, I know for certain that the baby factory is closed.  My mind is certain of this, but my heart aches to carry and deliver another baby.  There are 5 pregnant woman at our church that are all having their first babies and I feel that I should be right along with them, but NO...I had my first baby 9 years ago.  I still feel like I am 26 years old.  So, over the past day, I have really been thinking about the big 3-5 and the more I think about it, I think I like 35 better than 25.  I have changed and grown for the better.

1.  When I was 25, I had no idea what it was like to hold a son in my arms for the first time.  At 35, I have held 3 sons in my arms for the first time.
2. When I was 25, I had no idea what it meant to sacrifice so much for someone else and want to do it.  At 35, I do this everyday and I wouldn't change it.
3. When I was 25, adoption was not even on the radar.  At 35, I cannot wait to bring home our daughter and give her a forever family.
4.  When I was 25, I wanted more.  I wanted to have a big house, a nice car.  I wanted to be successful and it didn't matter if we had to go into debt to get there.  I didn't give to others, I kept things for myself.  I wanted things.  At 35, I feel so blessed.  I feel that I am right where God wants me to be.  I feel like I have too much.  It is more important for me to live for eternity than for this world.
5.  When I was 25, Jesus was my savior, but he was not the Lord of my life.  I did things my way.  At 35, I try my best to do things His way.  I am closer to Him than I have ever been.  I cling to His word and His promises.
6.  When I was 25, missions was not for me.  At 35, I will be traveling across the world to show others the love of Jesus.
7.  When I was 25, I was afraid of everything.  I lived with what ifs.  At 35, fear is not going to stop me from doing what I am called to do.
8.  At 25, I prayed daily for patience.  I prayed for God to mold me into the women he wanted me to be.  I prayed that I would have purpose.  At 35, He is still teaching me patience.  He is still molding me.  And He has given me such purpose. I am more aware of is grace and his love for me.  As a mother of three boys, I need his grace more than ever!!!

At 35 I have 3 amazing boys, a wonderful husband, a loving family, an awesome church and incredible friends. What more could I want?
I never thought I would be where I am now, but I am so thankful where the Lord has brought me.  35 is not so bad!!  I am so completely blessed and I have no regrets.  I am so excited what this year will bring.  Hopefully a daughter and for sure one trip to Ethiopia!!  Here's to the big 3-5!

3 comments:

PointerFamily said...

Happy birthday week! Love that!!

PointerFamily said...

Happy birthday week!!

Lainey-Paney said...

What an awesome post.
Truly wonderful.

Happy birthday!