"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

16 months

I have been in a funk since I got back from Ethiopia.  It has been hard to get back to normal.  Maybe this is my new normal.  When your eyes have been opened, you can't turn your back anymore.  I think about Ethiopia all the time. The people, the country and  mainly my daughter.  It was so easy before Ethiopia to separate myself from the adoption.  The wait was hard, but the day to day life was so busy that I could wait patiently.  But, now, I have held an orphan.  I have seen the look in their eyes.  I have loved on an orphan. I have seen so much.  I have seen where she could be living.  It is hard.   The wait feels like a huge "weight" bearing down on me.  We have officially  been waiting for 16 months.  In september, it will be two years since we sent in our application to AWAA.  It will be three years since we said "yes" to adoption.  As I wait, he is refining me,pruning me, molding me and changing me.  I cannot wait to look back on this and see how He has woven Annie's story together with mine perfectly.  I know it will make sense then.  But for now, it makes no sense at all and I have to chose to trust Him daily.

No comments: