"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Friday, March 29, 2013

Fear

Last night there was a referral.  Carrie texted me at 11:30.  That's how we roll.  It moved us to #4 on the list.....EXCITING, Right?  I was so excited when I went to bed last night.  I have been praying expectantly and specifically for the Lord to bring us a referral in June.  It has been written over and over and over in my journal.  It has been written on my heart.  And, I really believe this will and can happen.

But then, 4 am happened.  I woke up with my heart racing, panicked.  I couldn't breathe.  This has been such a long wait, yet all of a sudden it is happening so fast.  I am not ready.  I have books by my nightstand on attachment and bonding that have collected dust over the past 2 1/2 years.  Will I be a good mom to her?  Will she love us and our home?  Will we bond?  Will she sleep?  How will her brothers do?  What about her hair?  Can I do her hair?  Her room...her room isn't ready...Adoption fund?? How?  I immediately recognized this was Satan.  He hates adoption.  He is ready and willing to put the fear right into me.  I woke Joel up and told him I needed to go run at the gym.  It is 5 am and he thinks I am crazy.  I just needed to spend some time with the Lord without any distraction.  I listened to this song over and over and over.


You are good, You are goodWhen there's nothing good in meYou are love, You are loveOn display for all to seeYou are light, You are lightWhen the darkness closes inYou are hope, You are hopeYou have covered all my sin
You are peace, You are peaceWhen my fear is cripplingYou are true, You are trueEven in my wanderingYou are joy, You are joyYou're the reason that I singYou are life, You are life,In You death has lost its sting
Oh, I'm running to Your arms,I'm running to Your armsThe riches of Your loveWill always be enoughNothing compares to Your embraceLight of the world forever reign
You are more, You are moreThan my words will ever sayYou are Lord, You are LordAll creation will proclaimYou are here, You are hereIn Your presence I'm made wholeYou are God, You are GodOf all else I'm letting go
Oh, I'm running to Your armsI'm running to Your armsThe riches of Your loveWill always be enoughNothing compares to Your embraceLight of the world forever reign
My heart will singno other NameJesus, Jesus
Forever Reign by hillsong united.
I got home and started my BSF lesson and read this:
"God wrestled with Jacob to teach him that spiritual power comes only from God.  God does not fulfill His purposes "by might (status, possessions), by power (brains, plans, personality), but by His Spirit" (Zech 4:6) God's blessing depends only on God's mercy not on our desire or effort.  He most often chooses those who in some way are foolish, weak, lowly, or even despised so that not one of us may boast that we deserve God's blessing. "


Oh, yes!  The Lord knew.  He met me right where I was and knew exactly what I needed to hear.  I will not be a good momma to Annie because of my efforts, but by God's mercy.  He called me here.  He called me to adopt and I am many times foolish and weak.  But it is by His spirit.

So step aside, Satan.  I will not FEAR YOU!  My Lord was despised, betrayed, beaten so badly that he didn't even resemble a human, he carried his own cross and was hung.  He was crucified.  He died for me.  He died for all my imperfections, my lack of faith, my wandering.  You had a plan, Satan. But, my Lord. My Savior.  He was buried and three days later the tomb was empty.  He had RISEN!!  He had overcome death.  And He REIGNS VICTORIOUS!

Monday, March 18, 2013

Happy Monday

I love this picture!  
Last day of Spring Break here!  
To do list:
Sleep in: Check
Play Minecraft: Check
Try Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Toast: Check and AMAZING!!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Spring break birthday trip

Clayton got to go on a fun trip this weekend with my parents for his birthday.  They took him to Austin to go Zip lining.  I am sure he is having so much fun!  He got to spend the weekend with his cousin Macey too.  I know he feasted on catfish (which he LOVES) last night. He is not home yet, so I can't wait to hear more about it.   I love that this trip is something he will always remember!


Saturday, March 16, 2013

When Momma's Away


The boys will FISH!



Friday, March 15, 2013

Spring Break Day 5

Today the boys and Joel got to go to Top Golf with Jeremy and Rachel and boys and Gigi and Grandpa.  I had to leave for work at noon, so couldn't go.  Thank you Rachel for taking some pictures!!!  It sounds like they had a great time.  They had a yummy lunch of In N Out burger which is always a fave of ours.  Thank you Gigi and Grandpa for the fun day!  I am sad I missed it!!!!






Thursday, March 14, 2013

Spring Break Day 4

We started the week with absolutely no plans and are ending the week with having super fun plans every single day.  Spring Break has turned out to be a really fun week for us.  Gigi invited us to the Arboretum today.  It was another beautiful day.  The arboretum is perfect for boys to run, roll down grassy hills, get wet, and run some more.  The tulips are so gorgeous.  Getting pictures of just the tulips was easy.  Getting three boys in front of the tulips...not so much.  They just wanted to run and run some more.
















 This was the favorite part of the trip.  Frog fountains.  Where my boys get completely and totally wet.  But, the smiles and the laughter....worth it.











The afternoon was made complete by a trip to Sonic happy hour!!!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Spring break day 3

What a gorgeous day!!!  We met Gigi early this morning at the movie theater to see Oz.  It was a little much for Elliot (scary).  The other two loved it. The rest of the afternoon, we spent riding bikes all over the neighborhood and climbing trees.  We love being outside.  It was so pretty that I even got a sunburn!!


Elliot is so funny.  The big boys love riding their bikes down big dirt hills.  Elliot pulled his little tricycle up this hill and followed right  behind them.








Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Spring break day 2

Spring break day 1 we spent the day with Carrie and kids in Prosper.  Day 2 we spent the morning at home.  We do not have many opportunities to sleep in, so this morning we did just that.  The boys spent the morning playing and having a blast just being at home.  We couldn't get tickets for the Perot Museum until 4pm.  That place is always so busy!  Joel came home a little early so we could head out for the evening.  We had so much fun just being out of the house and being all together.







We walked to Klyde Warren Park after the museum.  The weather was finally nice enough to be outside. They boys ran off some energy, and got sopping wet (Clayton). We had planned on eating off the food trucks, but most of them started closing before we could eat.  So we walked to El Fenix and ate there instead.





So glad we chose El Fenix because we had a celebrity siting.  Well, if you live in DFW.  Clarice Tinsley, new anchor on Fox, sat right next to us.  It was so funny trying to get a picture of her without being to obvious.  The boys had no idea why we were wanting her picture.  It was pretty funny!