"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Monday, April 22, 2013

He Will NOT Delay

God speaks to me so much through music.  I cry out to him through worship.  I have been singing this song all week in preparing for leading worship on Sunday. These are the exact words I have needed to hear this week.

Always by Passion Band

My foes are many
They rise against me
but I will hold my ground.
I will not fear the war.
I will not fear the storm.
My help is on the way
My help is on the way.

Oh, my God
He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through Always

Trouble surround me
Chaos abounding
My soul will rest in you.
I will not fear the war.
I will not fear the storm.
My help is on the way
My help is on the way.

I lift my eyes up.
My help comes from the Lord.

Lately, I feel like He is delayed (yesterday...many tears).  That He has forgotten me.  That is timing is so far off from my timing.  This morning, I read this verse.

Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

I remember back to the day that we found out Elliot was a boy.  A perfect baby boy growing inside of me.  But, I thought God had forgotten me.  That He had not listened to my cries out for a daughter.  I didn't understand.  I had prayed and prayed for a girl.  I had a name already picked out for her.  I had planned everything out.  I knew for sure that a baby girl was growing inside of me.  A girl that I would name Annie.  I hate thinking of this time now and I hate even admitting that these were my feelings, but it was real.  I felt so guilty.  I was grieving so much even though there was a tiny blessing growing inside of me.  Little did I know that it was the beginning of breaking my heart and opening my eyes to something so much bigger.  His plans for adoption.  My mother-in-law sent me this verse on that day.  I remember crying over it, but finding hope in it.  I had to read it daily.  It kept my eyes on Him and it brought me to this point where I am now.    Waiting for our daughter while loving on my precious son, Elliot.  He redeemed my brokenness. He knew on that day that not only was he going to bless me with an amazing son, but that he was already planning to bless me with a daughter.  

I don't understand the why.  I don't know the when or the how.  But, I know that His purpose will prevail.  His timing will be perfect.  He will not delay.  My God will come through ALWAYS.  I just need to keep my trust and hope in Him.  Easy enough, right?  I make it much harder than it needs to be.  I know that one day, I will look back on this time and say "YES, God knew exactly what He was doing!"

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