"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Monday, August 12, 2013


I am horrible at closing chapters in my life.  It makes me sad.  I never really had a time in my life where I was thankful that a certain season was over.  I loved my elementary years, I loved middle school, high school, college, newlywed, newly parents...etc.  They have all been wonderful times in my life.  I have so blessed in this way.  I have been thinking about this a lot lately because we have been talking about permanently closing the chapter to having babies.  This has been my favorite chapter thus far.  I LOVE being pregnant, I LOVE being in the hospital and LOVE the actual birth of the baby.  I LOVE the part of all the people in the waiting room anticipating the arrival of the little one.  But, one day, you get older and that chapter just closes. I don't know if my heart will ever go there.

I am not in my 20's anymore and that is so hard to wrap my mind around.  I am not even in my early 30's.  I am quickly approaching 40.  Say WHAT? Girls nights consist of us sitting around talking about our slow metabolisms that just showed up the day after we turned 35.  The scale no longer budges unless you eat only lettuce for 7 days straight.  I can run 8 miles, look at a chocolate bar and gain weight. Oh, and that's after peeing in my pants a few times along the way.  The lady at weight watchers even encouraged me to increase my goal weight because she said "You are not in your 20's anymore".  Thanks, LADY!!! We talk about our high cholesterol, and the inability to sleep like we used to. We talk about taking fish oil and calcium supplements. We talk about the random grey hairs sprouting up on the top of our heads.  Where in the world did that come from?  We talk about how we might all need to start getting bangs due to the giant creases in our foreheads.  Oh, and the super thick night wrinkle cream?  I started using that, and a rejuvenating wash, and a day cream....I think I started a bit too late.  Oh, and if you are older than me and you think I am super young, you can just laugh about this and say behind your breath "Just Wait".  I know I am not OLD.  It is just a new experience for me.  

In two weeks, I will be sending my DOUBLE DIGIT, PRETEEN son to big boy school.  Not elementary school.  A school with lockers, and class changes and choices for band or choir.  Wasn't I just there?  He is old enough now to have "THE TALK" which will be happening soon and it is freaking me out.  I'm not old enough for this.  I just graduated from high school, college, just got married, he was just born....oh wait.....NOPE! Just looked in the mirror....

But, as I look back on all those chapters in my life that were such blessings, I am thankful for the one that followed.  If I hadn't closed one, another would not have opened.  This summer, I have had so much fun with my preteen son.  He has changed so much, but I love who he is becoming.  He is now big enough to sit in the front seat with me and we have so much fun.  We laugh and we have our own little jokes.  Our family has so much to look forward to, it is just different.  

I have recently finished a bible study called "The Fitting Room" and it is based on Colossians 3:12.  The last chapter was about having true Joy no matter the circumstance.  And really, at this time in my life, I really have found so much contentment and so much joy.  Embrace each chapter of life that God has you in, they are all blessings.

So, instead of being sad that I am not in my 20's anymore and being sad that I won't be birthin' anymore babies, I am going to embrace it and be excited for what's to come and thank God for the blessings he has given me in every chapter of my life.  And when I look in the mirror, I am going to try and say "I look good for almost 40!!!"  Instead of my usual, "I don't look like I did in my 20's".  


Joel Halpin said...

You are wonderful in every way! I also think you are a fantastic writer! We sure are having fun getting old together!

Brandie said...

Loved this! Although, I'm now worried about the slow metabolism at 35; I thought for sure mine had stopped working at 30 :/

Stacey said...

I couldn't have said it any better - great job describing what I am going through (the peeing on the runs and all!).

We are great moms with great kids...and we will continue to enjoy each moment even though it freaks us out when someone calls us ma'am!