This month has been difficult. My heart has been heavy all month long. There have been many highs and many lows. Surrendering EVERYTHING has had to be a moment by moment choice. Joy has been a moment by moment choice. At some moments, I handled things exceptionally well and at others, I did not. But, one thing that did not happen...God never left my side. He put people in my life to encourage me and push me along when I didn't want to go any further. My husband...I just can't even begin to describe how amazing this man is. He is always encouraging. He always sees God's blessings. He never gives up. He makes me better. He loves me when I am not lovable.
We have fasted and prayed. Our children have prayed. Family has prayed. Friends have prayed. Our church has prayed. We have prayed in groups. Friends of friends have prayed. A friend of mine had her teacher friends pray. A bible study group that doesn't know us prayed. My BSF class has prayed. People have encouraged us along the way. God has moved so many people to pray for a little girl. A little girl that we do not even know. A little girl that lives all the way across the world. A little girl that God put on our hearts 4 years ago. And God answered our prayers.
Psalms 40:1 "I waited patiently for the LORD; and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, an hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD."
He heard our cries!!!! He softened hearts, he moved mountains. My God can do ANYTHING. NOTHING is too hard for him. They will not be closing down adoptions. All glory to God.
I cried all day yesterday. I am so thankful. Sadly, I think part of me thought he couldn't make it happen. Or maybe that he wouldn't make it happen. It reminds me of the disciples when they saw Jesus do miracle after miracle. He fed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. And then when it comes to feeding 4,000 people not long after, the disciples say "Where could we get enough bread in this remote place to feed such a crowd?" Ummmm....seriously people!!! Didn't he just feed 5,000 right in front of you?? Oh, wait...this is me. He has moved mightily on our behalf over and over again. I just need to believe and not forget. I just need to continue to step out of the boat.
A friend of mine has adopted internationally and has been in the domestic process for over two years now. They had a failed adoption several months ago and were ready to pull their application and just quit. Their 9 year old boy said "You just don't give up when things get difficult!" And now she has a picture of her 9-year old son holding their newborn baby boy. The words have played over and over in my head this month. Adoption is hard. But, I will not give up. I will not give up on our little girl no matter what slimy pit God has to pull us out of and with each fall, I will trust God even deeper. We don't know what lies ahead, but God does. He has gone before us.
Pray for a referral for us soon. Pray for a referral this week, this month. Thank you for all of your prayers.
Psalms 126:3 "He has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."