"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

36 Months

36 months or 3 years or 1097 days...but whose counting?  And the great thing about this is that God is not shocked by this number.  He is writing this story and I am supposed to just walk in obedience.  He has done a huge work in me over the past three years.  It is funny (or not) that I thought I had this all figured out three years ago...

He has pruned me and changed my heart.
He has taught me patience like no other.
My hands have gone from a tight grip of control to completely open in surrender.
He has taught me to lean in and abide in him.
Trust him in the unknown.
He is Big.  So much bigger than I had thought before.
He doesn't fit into a box.
He is merciful when I am acting like a fool and not trusting.
He stills my anxious heart.
He has taught me that this is not about me.  
His timing....Oh his timing...it is perfect. And again, not about me.

You know what has happened to God over the past three years.

He is constant.
He is unchanged.
Hebrews 13:8 "He is the same yesterday, today, and forever."

I am reading "Restless" by Jennie Allen and it is such a great book.  She says "God does not see days, he sees eras."  This has not left me and it has been so powerful to me.  He doesn't see the three years as a wait at all.  He sees the big picture and He is the painter of that picture.  I just need to let Him paint.  I have written in my bible over and over again that "God is God and you are not".  Simple, yet something I obviously need to remember.  I'm not God. Plain and simple.

So, today, I am not concerned about the time, because it will happen when God is ready for it to happen.  I am full of hope because of a God who loves me so intimately. Just recently, I have prayed for some encouragers to come along and speak truth into me along this journey and He did just that.  I have some amazing women in my life that are lifting me up in prayer today and speaking truth into me today.  I woke up this morning filled with peace.  I am not going to say that the day has not been without a few tears.  But, I am confident in God's promises.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20

I don't know how much longer.  I don't know when she will be home.  But, I do know that God is sovereign and nothing is impossible for him.  So, I am just going to enjoy the journey and keep my hands wide open in surrender to him and watch him paint this beautiful picture.  And today, we are going to celebrate our GREAT, BIG, AWESOME God that has put this Great, Big calling on our lives.  And we are going to thank him for pursuing us, for changing us and for loving us deeply along the way.

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