I should be good at waiting. I should have this patience thing figured out by know. I have been in a constant state of waiting for over 4 years now. 4 years of delays, 4 years of things not looking the way I had planned them out in my head. But, here I am...terrible at waiting and terrible at patience. What is it about letting God do the work that I don't understand? Why do I think I am in the driver's seat? Last week, I was a mess. I have spent many days a mess. Even at bible study on Sunday night, my friend said she is in such a state of thankfulness and is in a season of blessings. I chimed in with, "I am in a state of unthankfulness and bitterness." UGH! My flesh.....anyways....just where lack of faith and waiting takes me at times. But, God is merciful.
This week, I have had so many sweet lessons from God. He keeps bringing me back to the word "Rest". I have been cancelled from work for almost 6 weeks. Things have been really calm around the house because I have all three boys at school all day. I've found a nice routine that keeps our house "clean" and really, I've had a little extra time on my hands. That NEVER happens. I even have all socks matched and put away. Again...NEVER happens. He keeps reminding me to rest. I was at the grocery store on Monday and gave thanks that I was shopping alone because this will not be my life soon. I gave thanks as I met a friend for coffee this morning. That will not be happening in my near future. I gave thanks as I sat and read a book. I gave thanks as I made dinner without a toddler on my leg. I gave thanks for the shower I took this morning. In a month or two, showers may be a luxury. A middle of the day date with my husband. God is raining down blessings for me and I'm too caught up in my mess that I don't even see them.
In being thankful, we can turn our grumbling and complaining and woe is me attitude and fix our eyes on Jesus. He is so very good. He is so faithful. Being in a "waiting room" is not a bad place to be after all. It is a place where we learn to depend only on Him. He strips away everything so that all we have is Him. Resting in Him is a choice. I can choose to walk around in constant worry, or I can choose peace and joy. I can choose to try and control everything, or surrender everything. I'm hoping that I can choose joy and peace and complete surrender. Seems like a much better place to me. I tend to get caught up in the when's, how's, what's and why's and forget the who. As in, the Who that is in control here. As in, the Who that created the universe by just speaking it in to being. The who is the most important part of that equation. If I believe and trust in the ALMIGHTY God, then the what's and when's and how's will all fall into place according to His perfect will.
I praying with such boldness that the waiting is almost over, but I pray even more that I will walk daily trusting and glorifying Him. I just need to step aside and let God move. I tend to get in the way!
I leave you with this precious pic of these little legs and chubby little hands. Oh, my word. If you could see her face, you would die. She is the most precious little baby girl I have ever laid my eyes on. You would understand why I act like such a fool sometimes!!!